Entries in Parental Alienation (14)


A Single Father's Story of Alienation

Up until March 27th 2011, I shared a wonderful strong and happy bond with my then 7 year old boy, since the day he was born.

I was never married to his mother, I am 9 years younger than her and our relationship ended prior to her pregnancy.

Without moving into too much detail, the mother and I had a telephone dispute over horseplay games my son and I played. In particular, our routine little wrestling games on the bed each morning and night.

On March after drop off she called me to say there were bite marks on my son's arm. She was yelling, I was a little confused, but narrowed it down to perhaps part of our game where he and I would see how long we could hold. I tried to calm her down, instead she said she was taking photos and said that 'this was abuse'.

This became a screaming match as I would never, ever do anything to harm my son. The last time I saw him, he was singing in the car and said, "I love you Dad".

Even that night in question, "He did not complain to his mother of anything". But, the worst when she began yelling on the phone in his presence and from there on, she was about to emotionally and psychologically abuse my son forever...

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A happy Father's Day ahead - well, for some men at least


Every year, tens of thousands of Australian children are not able to wish their dad, or their granddad, a happy Father's Day due to their parents being separated or divorced.

What does that tell us, that fathers who don't see their children are "deadbeat dads"?

In a recent case federal magistrate Tom Altobelli made some surprising admissions in awarding a mother sole custody of her two children: "Their mother has indeed alienated them from their father … the mother's perception of the father is based on illusion not reality … She is not being malicious or malevolent, she is quite simply shackled by a distorted frame of reality … She believes the father is a risk to the children when he is not."

It is remarkable, and a relief, that Altobelli wrote the children a letter explaining his decision. But the isolation still felt by their father must be extreme. Many fathers - or mothers in similar situations - experience debilitating mental health issues while they work through various aspects of being a separated non-custodial parent.

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Parental Alienation as an Outcome of Paternal Discrimination, by Joep Zander

Parental alienation syndrome (PAS) in children is studied using a case study of a father, mother and daughter and the restoration of a child-father relationship after PAS. Three in-depth interviews provide insight into the dynamics of parental alienation and the way they can be further investigated. Paternal discrimination is seen as a critical variable.

From New Male Studies: An International Journal - Vol. 1, Issue 2, 2012, pp. 49-62.

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The Family Court, where fathers are the victim

The Federal Labor government appears bent on making it easier for mothers in Family Court proceedings to make false accusations about fathers being violent and abusing their children.

Such accusations are a routine part of custody battles. The Howard government made some effort to limit them; these sanctions are to be lifted in an amending bill to the Family Law Act now before the parliament.

The declared aim of the amendments is to better protect children from abuse and violence. The bill reaffirms that the best interests of the child must be the paramount consideration in the arrangements that follow separation of their parents. That always sounds reassuring. It is the mantra under which the Family Court operates. But when one principle, however worthy, is made pre-eminent, to be pursued whatever the consequences, terrible harm can be done.

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Women's rights push dads aside

IT is hard to fathom that the law would exclude a loving father from the life of his child on social policy grounds. Yet this is what occurred recently in NSW when a non-biological lesbian mother successfully applied to have the name of the father, a sperm donor, struck off the birth certificate of his IVF-conceived 10-year-old daughter and replaced with her own.

This kind of court decision, however, will come as little surprise to many dads, all too familiar with the operation of family law in Australia. Usually women's rights trump the needs of fathers and children, as is again being demonstrated by the Gillard government's changes to the Family Law Act, which will make it easier for separated mothers to exclude fathers from children's lives.

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